When you were newlyweds, it's pretty likely that you already knew there would eventually be disagreements and even some arguing. However, you probably never imagined that you would consider splitting up, right? Maybe one of you has already left your home with the idea of divorce on your mind. If that's the case, maybe you realize that you have moved too quickly. Or, it might be that both of you are living under the same roof still. Does it feel like there's always an elephant in the room? That can't be a fun way to live.
Perhaps you have already talked about ways you can get through the rough spot in your marriage. If so, that's wonderful. On the other hand, maybe you need a boost. If that's the case, here are some ideas that might help you.
Be Careful in Your Conversation
Maybe you have decided together to find a place and a time where you can talk freely without having distractions. For example, if you still have kids living at home, maybe you have taken them to a friend's house or to a family member's home for a sleepover. If so, wouldn't your own home be a good place to talk? Consider putting your phones on Mute so that you can give each other's concerns total attention.
As you discuss your problems, be very careful about how you word things. For example, instead of saying, You're selfish and you never pay any attention to the kids and me, wouldn't it be much better to say something like, "I just feel like other things have taken priority in your life. I miss you very much." Or, instead of saying something hurtful like, "You're a slob and the house is always messy," consider using words like, "I know how busy you are. How can I help you to keep our house looking nicer?"
Arrange for Marriage Counseling Services
Maybe all the talking in the world, no matter how gentle, has not solved the problems in your marriage. Maybe the problems involve something extremely serious, like one of you having an affair. If that's the case, think about arranging for marriage counseling services. Your ecclesiastic leader might even have the qualifications to counsel you. If not, he or she will more than likely have names of counselors who deal with marital issues.
Trust your counselor. Remember that he or she has the experience to help you. Things they suggest might seem trivial. For example, maybe he or she will ask you to write notes of gratitude and love to each other. Maybe the counselor will suggest that you take a trip together, even if it's just a weekend honeymoon. You might even be asked to have an intimate ceremony where you exchange your own wedding vows to each other, either by yourself or with close friends and family members in attendance.
Contact an adult counseling service if you're ready to enhance and improve your marriage.Share
26 June 2019
When I was younger, my parents didn't like us to talk about our problems. Instead of voicing our concerns, my parents encouraged us to work on our issues privately. Although this attitude taught me a great deal about personal strength, it has made it hard for me to talk about my problems with other people. After two failed marriages, I realized that the lack of communication could hurt my ability to work well with coworkers, spouses, roommates, and friends. In an attempt to correct my bad habits, I started working with a professional counselor, which made an immediate difference in my life. I know that counseling can help you too, which is why I created a website dedicated to communication and counseling.