Never Never: What Not To Do When Going Through A Hard Time


The hardest part of life is staying happy and positive during a difficult time. Bad things happen to everyone. When they happen to you, you can tend to feel like your life is over. If you need some guidance to help you get through difficult times, here are things you should never do during a hard time in your life.

Never play the victim

It's easy to wallow in self-pity as the victim in your difficult time. While everyone is entitled to feel their feelings, constantly feeling sorry for yourself is counter-productive. People put too much emphasis on blame during a hard time. Maybe if you never did one thing you did three years ago, it never would've happened. It might be true, it might not. The fact is, hindsight is 20/20 and there is nothing you can do about it now. Have a good cry, dust off your bootstraps, and stop being a martyr.

Never hide your feelings

Although wallowing isn't healthy, neither is burying your feelings. You need to find a healthy balance. Express your feelings as you feel them. Spend an evening crying and talking to your spouse, mother, or best friend. Scream at the walls, punch your pillows, do whatever you have to do to get as many negative feelings out as possible. The more quickly you face them, the more quickly you can let in some positive feelings and make a plan to fix your situation. Visit a life coach if you need to.

Never be stubborn about your goals

Everything in life is subject to change. It's rare when someone meets a life goal without some adjustments. It's okay to change your plans. You need to realize that when you stumble onto a setback, you have to change some of your expectations. If you're flexible about your life, you'll open the door for more opportunities. One that you never thought about may present itself and change your life.

Never focus on the negative

It's easy to focus on the negative parts of your life because that's what you spend most of your time thinking about. You're so busy thinking about what you want to change, you forget about all of the things that are going well. Are you in good health? Do you have  a roof over your head? Do you have people who love you? Some people can say no to all three of those things. Knowing that it could be worse doesn't make your problems less valid, but it does allow you to count your blessings and be happy about something.

Going through a hard time is... well, hard. There is no manual for when life turns itself upside down. Just know that you will survive and it will be so much easier if you never do the things on this list.


9 September 2015

Talking About Your Problems

When I was younger, my parents didn't like us to talk about our problems. Instead of voicing our concerns, my parents encouraged us to work on our issues privately. Although this attitude taught me a great deal about personal strength, it has made it hard for me to talk about my problems with other people. After two failed marriages, I realized that the lack of communication could hurt my ability to work well with coworkers, spouses, roommates, and friends. In an attempt to correct my bad habits, I started working with a professional counselor, which made an immediate difference in my life. I know that counseling can help you too, which is why I created a website dedicated to communication and counseling.