If you find yourself married to a compulsive liar, you may wonder why you never noticed any symptoms before you walked down the aisle. Compulsive liars are not always easy to spot. Lying is a way of life for them, and their stories often fool even the most discerning people.
Finding out that the person you love is a chronic liar can be devastating to your relationship. Whether or not your marriage can survive will depend on two things: if your spouse is willing to seek some help, like marriage counseling from My Marriage First, and if you're willing to be supportive of them and understanding of their issues
The truth about liars
Nearly everyone lies at one time or another. For instance, if a co-worker gets a horrible haircut, you may tell her it looks great. You lie to avoid hurting her feelings.
Compulsive liars tell lies to benefit themselves, not others. Their motives are purely selfish. The lying can also become habitual to the point where telling the truth becomes awkward. Low self-esteem is often a culprit of compulsive lying. Telling lies makes the liar feel more important. They lie to get attention or to hear praise from others. Sometimes liars like to make themselves seem like the victims in life to seek pity and attention.
What can you do?
If you find out your spouse has been lying about lots of things, you should confront them in a loving and caring way. Unfortunately, many liars refuse to admit they have a problem, and in some cases their lying may be a result of other mental disorders. Borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, narcissistic disorder, or other mental health conditions may be linked to your spouse's lying. People suffering from these disorders may have a distorted perception of what is right and wrong.
However, not all lying is linked to mental disorders. Some people are well aware of the fact that they are lying and still may deny they have a problem. Even if your spouse refuses to admit they have a problem, you should contact a marriage counselor to discuss your feelings regarding your marriage relationship and how you can best help your spouse.
Your counselor can help you determine whether staying in the relationship is worth it. Much will depend on the reason your spouse is lying. If it is a matter of low self-esteem, you may be able to help your spouse by confirming their good qualities. Other causes of lying may be more difficult to treat.
If you do have to end the relationship, you will feel confident knowing you did what you could by seeking professional counseling to try to help your spouse and save your marriage.
Share24 February 2015
When I was younger, my parents didn't like us to talk about our problems. Instead of voicing our concerns, my parents encouraged us to work on our issues privately. Although this attitude taught me a great deal about personal strength, it has made it hard for me to talk about my problems with other people. After two failed marriages, I realized that the lack of communication could hurt my ability to work well with coworkers, spouses, roommates, and friends. In an attempt to correct my bad habits, I started working with a professional counselor, which made an immediate difference in my life. I know that counseling can help you too, which is why I created a website dedicated to communication and counseling.
